chantel

I have nothing left to give
I have found a perfect end
You were made to make it hurt
Disappear into the dirt

Carry me to heaven's arms
Light the way and let me go
Take the time to take my breath
I will end where I began

And I will find the enemy within
'Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin

Dear agony, just let go of me
Suffer slowly, is this the way it's got to be, dear agony?

Suddenly the lights go out
Let forever drag me down
I will fight for one last breath
I will fight until the end

And I will find the enemy within
'Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin

Dear agony, just let go of me
Suffer slowly, is this the way it's got to be?
Don't bury me, faceless enemy
I'm so sorry, is this the way it's got to be, dear agony?

Leave me alone, God, let me go
All blue and cold, black sky will burn
Love, pull me down, hate, lift me up
Just turn around, there's nothing left

Somewhere far beyond this world
I feel nothing anymore

Dear agony, just let go of me
Suffer slowly, is this the way it's got to be?
Don't bury me faceless enemy
I'm so sorry, is this the way it's got to be, Dear agony?

I feel nothing anymore

chantel

I woke up with this song in my head at about 3:37 this morning ...  I woke up thinking of this song and feeling like I was being thought of... and I don't know why I felt like that, becuase then I had to really wonder if someone was thinking of me... I don't even understand that ... and I thought about how much I wanted to send a friend of mine a message to see if he was awake too ...see if he was awake and if he and go over to the diner for breakfast and coffee... then I realized I can't really do that anymore and I felt sad again. I almost want to be able to ask if he was awake and thinking of me too.

I can't really do that. I mean, nothing is stopping me from it ... I just can't. That wouldn't be okay for me to do.

I used to really hate this song... I mean, I hated everything to do with this and "Wonderful World" ... now I kinda listen to them and they make me want to cry but I really like them too. I've been so sad for the past few weeks thinking everything was my fault, and I see how much of this mess is my fault because of timing ... but I also see how I can't be the only one trying to do everything. Something that I fall into a habit of trying to do ...  Now I've listened to this version about 100 times so far this morning and it's making me want to cry, actually I'm scarting to cry anyway. So, one last time through ... and then I'm going to go find something to do that's distracting...

Actually, maybe I need this right now instead.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh oh

Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Oh, somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
if happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow

Oh why, oh why can't I?