I just wish I was brave
I just wish I was brave
not much I really really want to report for now. I have so very, very much I want to say and I just don't have the words to do it... so I talk about Epipens and other crap like that ... because talking about the things that cause my soul to bleed horribly... I don't have the words to make them make sense. All I know is that my soul has such pain in it ... Eventually it'll pass
I cant wait to see ALL of Sparkle and Fade!!!
4th time this year I get to see my favorite band!
So happy, and so exhausted... and so stressed and so angry but so happy.
I went back to High School tonight! :) It was awesome and fun... I love homecommings, I love Alumni nights! It's really awesome and fun and cool... and I loved having my cymbals back! :) HAHA... I have my cymbals back!!
I got a Fitbit too... it's kinda neat
I woke up with this song in my head at about 3:37 this morning ... I woke up thinking of this song and feeling like I was being thought of... and I don't know why I felt like that, becuase then I had to really wonder if someone was thinking of me... I don't even understand that ... and I thought about how much I wanted to send a friend of mine a message to see if he was awake too ...see if he was awake and if he and go over to the diner for breakfast and coffee... then I realized I can't really do that anymore and I felt sad again. I almost want to be able to ask if he was awake and thinking of me too.
I can't really do that. I mean, nothing is stopping me from it ... I just can't. That wouldn't be okay for me to do.
I used to really hate this song... I mean, I hated everything to do with this and "Wonderful World" ... now I kinda listen to them and they make me want to cry but I really like them too. I've been so sad for the past few weeks thinking everything was my fault, and I see how much of this mess is my fault because of timing ... but I also see how I can't be the only one trying to do everything. Something that I fall into a habit of trying to do ... Now I've listened to this version about 100 times so far this morning and it's making me want to cry, actually I'm scarting to cry anyway. So, one last time through ... and then I'm going to go find something to do that's distracting...
Actually, maybe I need this right now instead.
Someday I might find a way to incorperate the old entries back where they belong ... or not...